#13 Divorce - Division by Force

#13 Divorce - Division by Force

by Dr. Stephen R. Phinney

"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a Godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the LORD of hosts. So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously” (Malachi 2:14-16).

I have received more “Christian persecution” from self-proclaimed “Christians” on this topic than any other. That is saying a lot for over 35 years of ministry. Since most “followers” of Christ prefer happiness over Truth, this topic is rated “most controversial and dangerous” to the modern church. Needless to say, and a surprise to all (not really), I am compelled to share the results of my study.

GOD MAKES IT CLEAR TO MALACHI

By the time God gave this Word through the prophet Malachi, His people were really messed up. They used the allowance Moses gave to divorce their wives to gain and fulfill their bodily pleasures. Here is the most likely reason why God hates divorce.

First, she is “the wife of thy youth” (Malachi 2:14, KJV). The husband had affections for his wife since her youth. This was when his feelings (first love) were the strongest. She was his first choice and with whom the man agreed to live with until death parted them. This is where our present pastors get the phrase “until death parts us.” Man didn’t necessarily take this covenant seriously, but God the Father did. The Father was challenging the Hebrew male children to return to their first love and keep the covenant they had made before God and man.

Secondly, she is “thy companion” (Malachi 2:14, KJV). She has long been an equal sharer with thee in thy cares, grief, and joys. The wife is to be looked upon not as a servant, but as a companion to the husband. He should freely converse and take sweet counsel with her, as with a friend, and in whose company he should take delight in more than any others. For is she not appointed to be thy companion?

Thirdly, she is “the wife of thy covenant” (Malachi 2:14, KJV) to whom thou art so firmly bound. While she continues to be faithful, thou cannot be loosed from her - for it was a covenant for life. It is the wife with whom thou hast covenanted and whom has covenanted with thee; there is an oath of God between you, which is not to be trifled with or played fast and loose with. Married people should often call to mind their marriage vows and review them with all seriousness, to make it part of the conscience of performing what they promised.

One of the primary issues with a Hebrew divorce is that of a man wasting the dowry price. When a man’s father paid the dowry price for a bride and the son did not steward this investment for his father by taking care of the family investment (the son’s bride), it was like a slap in the face of his father. When a son received the dowry price from his father to give to the father of the bride, it was a promise (with a price) to both fathers. First, it was to the father of the bride as a guarantee that his daughter would be cared for until death. Secondly, to the groom’s father, his son could be trusted with the fortunes of the father. Therefore, to divorce your wife was a significant gesture of distrust and irresponsibility to the fathers and the elders of the city. If a man granted a certificate of divorce to his wife, he was not to be trusted by other community members with the assets of the community as a whole.

To have dealt treacherously with the wife of a man’s youth was to defraud her. Affection was the evidence of the covenant of love and when a man spread his affection to other women outside of the marriage unit, it clearly communicated he was a man who wasted his seed, or investment, on self-pleasures. This was a sign of distrust. Keep in mind that the word trust is different in ancient Hebrew than the meaning given today. Trust was an accounting term used in finances; it meant to secure an investment (dowry). In modern times, the word has become a subjective term mainly used in a relational setting.

When Jesus was tempted (or tested), by the guilty men of divorce (the Pharisees), He would always take them back to “from the beginning.” Christ knew that proving the will of His Father, by man-made amendments of the Law, would give that man an excuse to use the Law to sin. By Jesus clinging to “from the beginning,” it gave Him the prerogative of clinging to the original design. He replied to the Pharisees in Matt. 19:8 (italics added), “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” It put the full responsibility on their shoulders, like the veil that was draped over their left shoulder on the day of their covenant marriage. Man is quick to use the amendments of the original design to find an excuse. These points cannot be argued—due to the Law, but Jesus stayed focused on the original design, such as in Matt. 19:4-6 (italics added), “He answered and said, ‘Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,’ and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH?’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.’ ” This response is critical for us to gain a clear understanding of the passage in Malachi regarding God’s hatred of divorce.

Divorce has always been a negative and covert message of Christ forsaking His Bride. Christ said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5, NKJV). This statement was as if He was saying, “I will never divorce you. You are My Bride and I am your Groom and there is nothing you can do to cause Me to divorce you.” In the Christian world, we call this “security of Salvation.” In the book of Malachi, God the Father was telling His people that she is the wife of thy covenant; the Christian’s New Covenant with Christ is like-minded.

SATAN’S PURPOSE FOR DIVORCE

Now the big question: Why would the enemy push so hard for legislating divorce? Another simple answer is that if the enemy can break up the original design of “one woman + one man + one Father = one flesh, he would then be able to ingrain into the hearts of man that just maybe, One Father + One Son + One Spirit = One God, is a lie. Secondly, he would be able to convince the Bride of Christ of a possibility that Christ would forsake (divorce) them. Divorce is the human tool used by the enemy to try to break up the Trinity in the hearts of man. First, divorce needs to be viewed through the eyes of God and secondly, through history – man’s futile attempt to legislate lust! God, the Father, ordained the institution of marriage to set in concrete (for mankind) the fundamental Truth of One Father + One Son + One Spirit = One God.


Divorce - Division by Force Copyright © 2012 IOM America. Permission to reproduce for educational purposes. Please keep author’s name intact. 

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version, public domain.

Scriptures marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.