#8 Death of Manhood

By Dr. Stephen Phinney

Great patriarchs do not strive to live, they purpose to die! Jesus obviously mastered this principle: “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it” (Luke 9:24-25). Self-dying--not promoting self-life--is the key to living as a principled patriarch. 

Is it not true that Jesus came to give His life in order to save ours? Why wouldn’t it be true for patriarchs to give their lives in order to save, or help, those to whom they are responsible? Nothing turns a follower off more than a leader doing things that profit himself. Self-denial is very attractive. It communicates safe leadership. A man, or patriarch, who has to “put his foot down” and prove his authority is confessing he has already lost it. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and said, “Not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42). He was revealing that He, too, was under a Supreme Commander. So it is with a patriarch. When followers see him pushing his will aside for that of Christ’s, he reveals headship even in his own life. People in general enjoy submitting to those who submit. It reveals the principle of a level playing field. 

Unless a man yields his patriarchy to the headship of Christ, he will rule his family, or followers, with a harsh and demanding mind-set. Servant leadership will be far from him. A man who seeks to lead in this manner is stating that he expects others to die daily for their agenda. That makes the patriarch out to be “a god.” 

Angry men act as if they have an ownership over their own lives and the lives of their followers. Any authority a man has was given him to steward—it was delegated. Anger reveals a secret sin of ownership. Ownership provokes the hand of God to be jealous. When a man is jealous, he is reacting to someone attempting to steal what he believes is his. Since jealousy is the emotion that provokes anger, understanding “ownership” is critical. 

Yes, it is true that a patriarch’s home, business, or position of authority is symbolic of his kingdom. But, he must always remember that it belongs to God and he is to serve those who reside within it by dying to his own will. 

NEXT: Patriarch Authority 

Death of Manhood Copyright © 2013 IOM America. Permission to reproduce for educational purposes. Please keep author’s name intact. 

All Scriptures, unless otherwise stated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

#7 Servant Leaders

By Dr. Stephen Phinney

Any man who desires to become a great leader must first become a servant. This is the model that Jesus demonstrated for men. “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). 

Today, most men are driven to manipulate women to serve them (primarily sexually), but also with day-to-day activities. Women have labeled our men as being selfish, ego-centered, and self-serving. I wish I could say that our women are wrong on this, but they are not. Most men have no clue what servant manhood is all about. 

How are we to know what biblical "servant manhood" looks like? We can discover the answer to this question by observing how Jesus responds to His Father. The more a man studies the role Jesus had (and has) with His Father, the more he will understand servant manhood. Jesus said, “The Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing” (John 5:19-20). As you can tell, the key here is following the Father. It always comes back to the Father. 

Men need to concentrate on their heavenly Father, their earthly father, and their spiritual father. By watching and doing what they do, men can demonstrate servant manhood. If a man does not have a “healthy” earthly or spiritual father, he is required to learn directly from the heavenly Father. The heavenly Father promises to be a Father to the fatherless (Ps. 68:5). 

Men tend to be power hungry, which is what stops them from being able to be servant leaders. Jesus was not about revealing His power. True meekness knows that you have the power to do mighty things, but don’t have the need to prove it. Patriarchy has been given a bad name because of the pride and ego of men. True patriarchs don’t need to display their authoritative power; they demonstrate it through acts of service. When men abuse their roles as leaders, the followers will ultimately choose a new leader to follow. People, men and women alike, intuitively desire to follow servant-type leaders. Jesus knew this, which is why He came in the form of a bond-servant. 

The world’s idea of leadership is to exercise authority over another by revealing one’s immovable position of power. The Bible calls this “lording it over” another. True leadership is not about a battle over the “wills.” It is about serving another for the purpose of moving that follower in the direction you have laid out before him. Serving moves hearts; and behavior always follows the heart. 

A man does not need to give up his position of authority or power in order to be a servant leader. He does need to demonstrate obedience to his leaders by serving them. This is his training ground for being a leader. A man, who demonstrates his position and power by servant influence, will discover the power of servant leadership.

NEXT: Death of Manhood

Servant Leaders Copyright © 2013 IOM America. Permission to reproduce for educational purposes. Please keep author’s name intact. 

All Scriptures, unless otherwise stated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.